Review: Boinking Bizarro edited by Danger Slater and Brian Asman

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Buy it here:

Death’s Head Press, Amazon

Synopsis:

From the demented minds of Bizarro authors Danger Slater and Brian Asman comes Boinking Bizarro, an anthology of weird literary parodies. You’ve never seen the classics quite like this. We’ve taken that old, musty canon and dressed it up in lace, leather, and lipstick. Wowza!

In Boinking Bizarro, a glory hole attendant seeks to give his wife the family she deserves, a time-traveling professor gives blind poet John Donne a hand, a slick serial killer gets the tables turned on that ass, a PI delves into the mysterious goings-on at a whorehouse, the forgotten erotic ouevre of Alfred Horsecock is explored, a trip to Mars puts a cloned super-soldier in a seminally sticky situation, and how did they film the infamous orgy scene in that Stephan Kink clown movie, anyway? Dystopian futures, disaffected slang-spewing youth, sexy tortures, and rapidly-growing pubic hair abound!

Plus, Pinnochio’s big dick energy. Which is like this whole thing in and of itself.

If you’ve ever wanted to lose your virginity to the acrid scent of your mother’s burning corpse, this is the anthology you’ve been waiting for! And if not, get fucked.

Stories by:
Brian Asman
Danger Slater
John Wayne Comunale
Autumn Christian
Gina Ranalli
Betty Rocksteady
Christine Morgan
John Skipp
Whit Slorp
Cody Goodfellow
Chad Stroup
Charles Austin Muir
Michael Allen Rose
Max Booth III
Lucan Mangum
Chandler Morrison
Amy Vaughn
Jessica McHugh

“Literature is just porn without the honesty”–Charles Buttkowski

Review:

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if someone made an anthology of stories stemming from sitting around with friend and making sex puns for every piece of classic literature and author name? Boinking Bizarro is this anthology.

Edited by bizarro heroes Danger Slater and Brian Asman, and published by Death’s Head Press, Boinking Bizarro is filled with every indie horror and bizarro author you should be reading. The concept of the anthology is a little ridiculous, but the execution is valid. Every single author is worth reading on his/her/their own merit. Like any anthology, there are some stories that I like more than others, but you can also see how each author brings their own individual style and voice to their piece. 

The digitial edition of this collection is about $5. This means that you only need five reasons to pick this up and read it. Here are five of the best stories that mean you should read it now (Even though these stories are worth much more than $1): 

  1. “A Bird Came Up My Walk and I Put It In My Vagina” by Emily Getta Dickinson, written by Amy Vaughn.

Amy Vaughn, one of the editors of Babou 691, gives an account of how Emily Getta Dickinson writes her poetry (It’s not what you think.) I think about this story more than any of the others and it makes me chuckle to myself throughout the day.

  1. “Nineteen Eighty-Fuck” by George Whorewell, written by Cody Goodfellow

This take on George Orwell’s classic, “1984” by award-winning author Cody Goodfellow, is almost a reverse of the original. I think I like this version better.

  1. “Whorehouse of Skeeves” by Clark Z Analewski, written by Chad Stroup

“House of Leaves” by Mark Z Danielewski is one of those memorable novels so I was interested in seeing what the author of a novel called, “Sexy Leper” would do with it. His idea is great and his homage to “House of Leaves” is spot on. 

  1. “The Man in the Iron Gimp-mask” by Alexhandjob Dumas, written by Christine Morgan 

This is probably one of the most complete stories in the anthology. Christine Morgan is a new author on my radar, and I will definitely be looking for more of her work.

  1. “A Clockwork Whoreange” by Antitty Pervness, written by Michael Allen Rose.

Michael Allen Rose pretty much retells the story of “A Clockwork Orange” in its entirety within six pages. The writing is skillful and honest to the original work. I will be preordering Michael Allen Rose’s newest book “Jurassichrist” when I finish this review.

These are five reasons to spend five dollars on this anthology, and really I do not even scratch the surface of the talent that grace the pages of this ridiculously deviant collection. You should probably just spend the extra $5 and get the paperback so that you can loan it to your friends when you’re done. You are simply a prude if you don’t buy it, and you don’t want to be a prude do you?

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