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Synopsis:
- “Merge the house and the woman—watch the woman experience her own body as a haunted house, a place of sudden, inexplicable terrors—and you are reading the blazingly talented Carmen Maria Machado.”—Parul Sehgal, The New York Times
In the Dream House is Carmen Maria Machado’s engrossing and wildly innovative account of a relationship gone bad, and a bold dissection of the mechanisms and cultural representations of psychological abuse. Tracing the full arc of a harrowing relationship with a charismatic but volatile woman, Machado struggles to make sense of how what happened to her shaped the person she was becoming.
And it’s that struggle that gives the book its original structure: each chapter is driven by its own narrative trope—the haunted house, erotica, the bildungsroman—through which Machado holds the events up to the light and examines them from different angles. She looks back at her religious adolescence, unpacks the stereotype of lesbian relationships as safe and utopian, and widens the view with essayistic explorations of the history and reality of abuse in queer relationships.
Machado’s dire narrative is leavened with her characteristic wit, playfulness, and openness to inquiry. She casts a critical eye over legal proceedings, fairy tales, Star Trek, and Disney villains, as well as iconic works of film and fiction. The result is a wrenching, riveting book that explodes our ideas about what a memoir can do and be.
Review:
Carmen Maria Machado released the memoir In the Dream House in 2019 about her abusive same sex partner, and the way that the memoir is presented makes the story not only an important document about the hidden abuse in same sex relationships, but also the true feelings behind relationships that bind us to abusive people. She tells the story in short chapters that uses metaphors, research, and anecdotes to construct the story of her navigating her relationship with a woman she calls Dream House. Dream House is also a metaphor for the true feelings that blossom at the beginning of every relationship. When we start to get feelings for someone else, we start to see ourselves together in a house, growing up and growing old. We dream about this house, and this is also a early relationship comfort. A house is supposed to be where you go to rest and recharge, a place that you find safety and feel peace. Some of us can share this home with a person, but some of us bring the wrong person into this space. Sometimes we see this person take over our home, and we lose all of the benefits. Machado’s relationship with her Dream House slowly erodes to the point where she does not see the relationship as one of comfort and safety but one of precarious uncertainty and anxiety.
“Safe as houses” is something closer to “the house always wins.” Instead of a shared structure providing shelter, it means that the person in charge is secure, everyone else should be afraid. Pg. 76
Everyone else should be afraid because in the end because the control that Dream House gets over Machado is enough to make her question herself, makes her drive back and forth between Iowa and Indiana, spend hours on the phone when they are apart convincing her she is not cheating, crying behind closed doors, and ignoring the ugliness and abuse that she receives from her partner, who post-abuse is clearheaded, sweet, and doesn’t understand what she even did to make Machado upset in the first place. There are stories that are told In the Dream House that will make any person cringe, yell, and want Machado to finally stop the relationship, but it takes much more than our will as a reader to get her to do this.
The story of the relationship is engrossing but so is Carmen Maria Machado and her writing. We do see her navigating this horrible situation, but we also get to see the way that her mind works. She does not write a straight-forward memoir because she cannot look at the situation in a straightforward way. She struggles with the big picture so she writes a story that when pieces together forms the big picture. Everything that we do is connected, everything that we have done and seen in the past informs our next step, our feelings, and whether or not we will give a person our time and energy. She has a way of showing us different elements of the story that do not seem connected but are completely connected, like the story of her crush on an associate pastor at her church at sixteen, like how her father told her that on test questions, if you do not know the answer, you write all of the things that you do know so that you might get half of the credit (which is the basis of the structure of this memoir), like the dismissive way the world views abuses in lesbian relationships, one of the things that she never knew existed until she was in one. The things that Machado creates to tell the story makes the memoir more of a kaleidoscope, giving us the picture the best it can instead of being a complete narrative where she has filled all of the blanks. This make In the Dream House not only a memoir that feels more of a literary piece, but a story that is interesting in more than one aspect, that makes the reader think about domestic abuse and rewires our brains on how to look at relationships in general.











