Rafter Fiction: Breezy’s Jungle Cruise

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the song, “Breezy’s Jungle Cruise.”  Buy the album here

Each of us took a hit of acid before we went on the city tour. None of us had been here before, and our parents told us that a city tour in a long double decker bus with a know-it-all guide pointing out all of the landmarks we passed was really an experience to behold. Trevor thought that the only way this could be enjoyable was to save three of the tabs we brought with us, drop them early enough so that once the wheels on the bus went round and round, we would be tripping.

We sat in the top, the open air on our faces as we rode slowly through the city. The constant honking sounded liked a symphony to me, the pitches and distances all making their mark when their time was right. I closed my eyes and felt the breeze on me, listened to the orchestra of the city, the banging and clanging, the honking and voices, turning this trip into a spiritual journey, a movement in four parts that I would never hear again.

Then the tour guide piped up, his voice tinny but booming on the speakers. “Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare to lose your life today while we drive through the worst neighborhoods. We will view the crime and poverty on our way to the cemetery where I will drop you off. But don’t worry. You’ll be dead by then. You won’t feel a thing by then. You will be ready to feed the worms by then.”

I nudged Trevor beside me. “Did you hear what he just said?”

“That we are going to have a good day? Sure. That we are going to see everything that there is to see? These lights are fucking marvelous.”

I tried to swallow my panic. I looked out at anything, at the buildings, at the traffic surrounding us, at the other passengers of the bus. There was an older couple in seats across the aisle from us, and I wanted to ask them if the tour guide really said those things or if I was hallucinating, or both. I couldn’t because Alex was between me and the aisle, and honestly, he had gotten really huge since this trip started. Like round and rotund. He was definitely growing, turning into a balloon. His stomach was blowing up more and more, and I asked him, “Are you going to escape this death by floating away? Are you going to become the next float in the Macy’s Parade?”
Alex gave me a weird look, as if I was talking nonsense and went back to whatever he was seeing.

The tour guide broke in again. “Ladies and Gentlemen. We are going to take a pit stop if you want. There is a deli on the south side of the street, and they serve up the best sandwiches, so if you brought some money, I suggest you buy yourself one. Also we will need some volunteers to stay behind because in exchange for these sandwiches, the butcher will need to cut up one or two of you to make their pastrami on rye special. It’s the best sandwich you will ever eat, so it is very much worth it. If there are no volunteers, I guess I will have to pick someone.”

“Do you hear what he just said?” I yelled at Trevor. “Did you freaking hear it?”

“Relax, man,” Alex said. “It’s all going to be okay. I think you are overreacting.”

“Listen to you, Balloon man. You can just float away toward midtown if he picks you, but I’m doomed. I am going to be pastrami. I am going to be some rich dude’s sandwich with swiss cheese, spicy mustard, and a fucking pickle, and you’re telling me to relax? Who the hell are you?”

Trevor put his arm around me. “I think you’re having a bad time.”

“I’m not! They’re going to kill us all. This is the Bus of Doom. The trip to Hell.”

I must have been a little louder because people were starting to turn toward us. Alex said, “You need to chill the fuck out, man.”

We were stopped for awhile, and I thought about getting off the tour, but I knew that the danger of being chased down the street and becoming a pastrami sandwich was just as dangerous if I got off the bus. I needed to wait it out. When the bus started moving again, I looked around to see many of the people eating sandwiches. I thought there were two or three people missing.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are planning now to turn south toward the river. There we can view how many shipping containers and dead bodies are floating around. We will be throwing a few of you in, but the rest of you are going to be heading toward the crematorium.”

Fuck, man.” I stood up. “I have to get out of here.” I headed down the aisle toward the front of the bus.

The conductor voice came through, “Please remain seated while the bus is in motion.”

“Hell no!” I yelled. “I’m not going to sit down and let you get away with this.”

The tour bus stopped. Horns started blaring all around us. “If you don’t sit down, I’m going to ask you to get off.”
I started walking toward the doors. “I have to save myself.” I expected this to be another trap, that the tour bus would start again as soon as I tried to step onto the curb, but nothing happened. I gingerly stepped down, and the doors behind me snapped shut and the motor revved again. I watched it leave the curb and lunge back into traffic. For a second I was relieved that I was going to live, but then I realized that my friends were still on there, unaware of the fate awaiting them. I started walking, not even knowing which direction I was going. I could try to get the police involved, to help save my friends, but then I thought that if I tried to warn them, they’d ignored me. The local police were probably in on the whole scheme as well. Trevor and Alex were on their own. I had to save myself.

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Rafter Fiction: You’re So Cold

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the song, You’re So Cold.” Buy the album here

 

He kicked and screamed the entire time the men picked him up and strapped him to a table. They shined lights and hurt his eyes. He pulled and tried shake free while they injected him, and then he stopped.

The light fragmented, broke to red, blue, and green. Oval and rectangle specks floated in a sea of black. His body lurched forward. His internal organs heaved, all at once, toward this throat. He could not open his mouth anymore.

He was 1956. His father slipping out of his grandmother, crying like he did not understand what was happening.

He was 1968. His mother at university, fall leaves floating through the wind daydreaming about his father with her books at her chest.

He was 1976. A squirming body inside of his mother, thinking about coming out but knowing that this darkness and this wet needed to be around to help him grow more.

He slept longer than he realized. He woke in his apartment. Only for a second. Long enough for him to open his eyes and see the bright lights above him again. One of the old man faces bent toward his face. “I don’t think it worked very long.

“I wonder how it feels,” said another.

“Probably like shit,” another said. He paused for a second before the same voice said, “What? He can’t hear me. It doesn’t matter.”

The light started to melt again and he was way off, floating toward the mountains, drowning in the sea. His insides felt jumbled and again he tried to scream.

He was 1993. The first girl that he kissed was looking at him, wondering if she was going to marry him and if they were going to have babies, but most importantly wondering what she would do if he touched her breasts.

He was 1999. He was with his parents, anticipating the end of the world at the end of December 31. His father dug a hole in the ground to place all of their money when the banks collapsed. He could find where all the money was buried. If it was still buried.

He was 2001. He started to squirm against the restraints, screaming against the pain of the burning. The burning building.

A teardrop rolled down his cheek. He thought he was screaming, “I don’t want to do it! I don’t want to do this anymore! I don’t want to do it!”

The response he heard was one of the men saying, “Do you see his lips moving? Is he trying to say something?”

“No,” another man said. “He’s just talking to someone in the past.”

“Fuck,” he tried to say. He jerked against the restraints but stopped a second later. He tested his right arm, yanked it hard, tried to see it move out of the corner of his eye. He realized then that all of his struggle, all of his screaming was not being seen or heard. His  fear and anxiety spiked his heart and blood pressure. He closed his eyes and tried to figure out what he what to do. The only thing to do was to give in.
As soon as he decided not to fight it anymore,  the room turned dark, but there were some specks of light, like stars. The table under him turned into the softness of summer grass. He used to lie in the grass with his parents when he was a child, looking up at the stars. His father would point out constellations, but he could not figure out any of them now. Then he heard a voice, his voice, the voice that he had not heard in years. His father. “That’s Orion.” The stars he mentioned started to shine brighter. “You can see how the three stars make his belt. Those are Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka. This such a popular constellation because it can be seen throughout the world. It’s on the celestial equator.” Hearing his father explain this again makes him want to curl up in his lap and listen to all of the stories he told him when he was a kid.

Then he heard his mother’s voice. “He doesn’t want to hear all of that, Tom.”

“Sure he does.”

He wanted to agree with him, but all he could do was try to nod his head. He wanted his mother closer too. He wanted to hear more than just their voices. He knew that this was what the men promised, only their voices, but if he could just see them one more time. If he could just touch them one more time, he would be able to…

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Rafter Fiction: A Naked Heart

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the song, “A Naked Heart.” Buy the album here

 

I did not really know Allen that well until the summer he was pulling up all of the grass in his front yard. Allen did not go to school, did not play football or baseball, did not play with any other kids on the block. I didn’t even know there was a boy living there until I saw him shoveling snow off the front walk last winter. I asked my mom about him.

“There’s a new boy down the street.”

“Who?”

“Down the street. In the blue house.”

My mom did not say much else about it, only nodded her head and went back to washing vegetables for dinner.

In the summer, all of us were out of school, and I was up early for some dumb reason. Jeff invited me over to play video games that morning, and since mom was still asleep, I ate a handful of cereal and headed toward his house. I didn’t pay attention to what time it was, and when I saw the sun barely above the horizon, I knew that I was too early. I could have went back home for awhile, but this idea was not as appealing as being on the street alone too early in the morning. I happened to walk passed the blue house, and this is when I saw Allen pulling up clumps of grass with his bare hands.

His back was turned to the street. He looked about six or seven, skinny and short, his hair buzzed close. The outlines of the his spine and ribs pushed taut against his skin. I wanted to stay something to get his attention, but I did not know if I should. After pulling a few more clumps, he must have sensed me because he turned around. “Hey,” he said in a really small voice.

“Hi.”

His face was small and compact. His eyes were sunken and close to each other, and his lips were too thin. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and shook one out. “You want one?” He shook a cigarette out of the pack for me.

“No thanks.”

“Cool.” He stood in the yard, a safe distance from me, and smoked.

“What exactly are you doing?”

Allen looked back at the clumps of grass piling up. “Mom says she doesn’t like anything that grows and wants me to tear all the grass out of the yard.”

This was confusing to me, but I just nodded. I was too busy watching him smoke like a man on a union break. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen. This fall. I think.”

I shook my head. “I don’t believe it.”

“I know. I look younger. Mom says she doesn’t want me to get older.”

“But you smoke.”

“It’s supposed to stunt my growth.” He smiled, and this was when I noticed all of his teeth were discolored and broken.

About that time, a large woman in a dark brown dress stepped onto the porch. She carried two coffee cups, and when she saw me, she stopped and her eyes narrowed. “Allen,” she said.

He turned to her then back to me. “I have to go.”

“Okay,” I said.

I didn’t tell my mom about seeing him this time. Instead I told Jeff when we were playing video games. I spent the night at his house that night, and the next morning we sneaked out of his house to see if Allen still working. Allen noticed us earlier than the day before.

Hey,” said. He stopped and lit a cigarette again. “You come to help or just gawk.”

Jeff gave me a look that told me he knew less about what to say than I did. I finally said, “Will your mom get pissed?”

“I don’t think so. Not if you’re helping. She wasn’t mad yesterday. Just wanted to know who you was.”

The yard did not have much more progress than when I saw it the day before, and I knew it would take him all summer if he worked by himself. Finally I said, “Sure. We can help.”

That was our only summer with Allen, pulling all of the grass out of the yard. We asked him why he smoked and why he drank coffee all of the time, and why he was so small for someone older than us. He did not talk about it right away, but once we had been working for a week or so, he said, “My mom doesn’t have very much. She does not have anyone, and she doesn’t like seeing things grow. Every morning, after she unties the weights from my arms and head, she measures and weighs me. She is disappointed when I have grown. And I don’t want to disappoint her. I’m all she has.”

When the yard was free of grass, I watched a paving company back into his yard. I got up early, before the sun baked the blacktop of his front yard, to see if Allen was going to be outside working on something else. I looked for a few weeks, but after not seeing him again, I found other things to occupy my time.

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Rafter Fiction: Brains Define Me

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the song, “Brains Define Me.” Buy the album here

“Hey…Adam…Adam…Wake up.” He feels Peter nudging him, and after deciding he cannot ignore him any longer, Adam’s eyes flutter open. “We have to go. We have to get out of here.”
“What?” Adam does not understand what Peter is saying because he has not left this building, this lab, for as long as he can remember. “Leave?”
“Yes. We have to go. I’m driving to the airport.”
Adam sits up and rubs his eyes. “What about Father?”
“He isn’t your father, Adam. He isn’t your father.”
This new pushes Adam backward. He shakes his head. His mind starts to speed up, the enhancements and technology making it spin faster and faster. He zips through all of the things that he has ever been told, ever been shown, every scrap of information he has ever seen or heard. “I have no information that tells me you are correct.”
Peter says, “You don’t have information that tells you otherwise either. You have to trust me. He is not your father, and he is in trouble. They are coming for him. They are coming for you. We have to escape.”
“I am confused.”
“It is okay,” Peter says. “You will learn quick enough. Right now we have to disguise you.” He reaches across and pulls Adam’s hair. The short wig pops off, and Peter stares at all of the microchips lining Adam’s cranium. “We have to do something.” Peter helps Adam put on a Detroit Tigers hat and a hoodie over the hat. “This will have to be enough. Now follow close and don’t make eye contact with anyone.”
Adam nods and stands up. “Wait. Why should I trust you?”
“You should not trust anyone, but you have no choice. We have to go.”
Peter throws some of Adam’s clothes into a gym bag. Adam watches and thinks about everything he has ever known. He knows that he is not really human anymore, that he is special, an experiment, one that Father, or not Father, says he has worked on his whole life. Father says he has found the potential for infinite brain power and that Adam is the prototype. Father says that he has loved him from the day that he was born and that he will never let anything happen to him.
Peter turns and hands him the bag. “Let’s go.”
“Wait. Where is Father? Shouldn’t he be here with us?”
“Something bad has happened, Adam. The military has come in and people are getting arrested and killed. I have to get you out of here and to a safe place before they get their hands on you.”
“Why would they want to do that?”
“Because you have power, and they want to turn you into a weapon.”
“Oh.” He followed Peter out into the hall and through some of the corridors. Adam does not get a sense that anyone else is awake, but the sleeping quarters are a long way from the lab. “I don’t hear anyone moving around.”
Peter pauses for a second. “They are all detained. They’re working their way toward us. We have to be really quiet to make sure they can’t hear us.”
They sneaked down the corridor toward a fire exit. Once Peter punches in a code, he pushes it open, and the night air hits Adam in the face. A car, a Lexus sedan, is idling at the curb. “This is the car.”
Peter helps Adam into the passenger seat. “You should duck down so they can’t see you.” Adam listens, and before he can protest, they are squealing out of the parking lot.
Within minutes of driving, Peter’s phone starts ringing. Adam notices the display before Peter turns it off. “Dr. Legranda.” He knows Father’s real name but does not know why Peter would not answer. “You should get that.”
“No,” Peter says. “It could be a trick. It could be the military using his number.”
“It could also be him wanting to make sure we escaped.”
“No. He knows.”
Peter turns the car toward the highway. After a few more minutes of driving, Adam starts to hear a voice in his head, “Adam…Adam. It’s Father.” He knows that this is not him making up Father’s voice, but his actual voice in his brain. “Listen to me,” he says. “I need you to think of the place where Peter is taking you. You do not have to say it. You do not have to do anything but think of the place. We will be there to meet you.”
“He says you aren’t my real father.”
“Adam. Adam. Adam. Of course he would say that, but we both know this is not true. I love you and you are my son. Just let us know where you are going. You are in danger.”
“He says I’m in danger with you.”
“No, son. He is the danger. We have to get you back before he destroys you.”
Adam thinks for a second. “What if he is not taking me to the airport?”
Father says, “Read the street signs. We will find you. Nothing bad can ever happen to you.”

“Promise?”
“Promise.”

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Rafter Fiction: Stay Out of the Sun

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the fifth song, “Stay Out of the Sun.” Buy the album here

I had to be creative to find something to eat for breakfast and had to settle for a heel from the last of the bread and the last scrapes of butter. The toaster had not been working for a while so it was not even toasted, but butter bread was the only choice. I sat in silence and slowly chewed each bite, trying to make it last. This was the last thing in the house to eat besides butter and mustard and milk that expired much too long ago for me to even do a whiff test. I thought about opening the blinds, to see if the sun was too bright. I was able to crack them just a little bit before I saw too much and shut them again.
I did the only thing to do. I called my mom. She did not answer on the first or second or third ring. I imagined her staring at the phone, my number lit up and her hesitating to answer. Finally her voice, a little soft, a little irritated. “Hello.”
“Mom.”
“David. I was wondering when you were going to call.”
“Yeah.”
“Let me guess. You’re out of food, and you want me to bring you some.”
“I have money.”
“I know. Why don’t you get one of those delivery services to bring you groceries again?”
“We’ve been through this.”
“Yeah.” A few years ago, when I did trust the delivery services, my house was broken into the night after the groceries was delivered. It was not coincidence that the people who broke into my house were the same type of young white kids with hip haircuts and skinny jeans that deliver groceries. I was convinced one of the kids I chased out the back door with a baseball bat was the same kid that delivered my eggs and milk earlier that day. From then on, I really could not trust anybody, especially the delivery service who told me the person who delivered my groceries that day was female. I told them they were wrong, that it couldn’t have been a female that broke into my house, and they all but hung up on me. I was still convinced that it was a guy that delivered the food, but then again, the more that I think about it, the hazier it became. My mom says, “You can try to get a different service.”
“You know they all work together. I’m sure they would come back and see that I’m still here by myself, still a target. I can’t risk it. Besides. You know exactly what I like.”
“Yeah. But I have my book club meeting today at five. It will have to be after that.”
“I don’t have anything at all to eat. Can’t you come before the meeting?”
“David,” my mom said with a sigh, and that was the only answer she gave me.
After verifying the things I needed, we hung up, and I sat at my computer to do some programming work. My boss understood that I worked better at home and had no problem only communicating through email and Skype. I did tell her that I didn’t leave the house much, and she thought this was acceptable as long as I did good work. I did not tell her that after she agreed to let me strictly work from home, I had not left the house in three years.
I mean what was the point? Outside was horrific. There was not a day that went by without someone getting shot. There was not a single day when the news showed some garbage that happened that that reassures me to stay. Being away from people was the best prospect. I had everything that I needed here, and I was content.
I worked for a few hours, and I watched a movie. It was 3 o’clock before my mom called. My stomach was growling. “Hello.”
“I’m at the store now. Is there anything else you need?”
“Not really.”
“I haven’t bought soap in while.”
I tried to remember the last time I showered two days in a row. “I guess I can use some.”
“I’ll be there in about a half hour.”
This time between her telling me she was coming and her actual arrival was the most anxious part of my life. This was why I always let all of my food run out before I called her. What if something happened to her between the grocery store and my house? What if she was in a wreck or was jumped by a gang of street urchins? What if she decided that this time she was not going to help me and was saying that she was coming but was actually was still at her house, reading a book and laughing at her helpless son? I pulled the blinds back in the living room and sat on the couch as much as I could. I tried to focus on the television, but this was not possible. I could not stop running scenarios through my head, ways that she was not going to be able to get me food. Finally by the time she pulled into the drive, I was a ball of anxiety, waiting for her at the window.
My mom came up the front walk with ten or eleven bags on her arms. I cracked open the door while she stepped on the front porch. I reached my hands out and she transferred the bags to me. “Want me to come in?” she asked.
I felt so much relief. “That’s okay.”
“You really need to get your yard mowed.”
“I know. I’ll call that guy.”
“Can I come in?”
“No,” I said. “Not right now.” She looked disappointed in me. “Thank you though.”
“Okay,” she said. She turned around and started walking down the front steps.
I said, “Be careful out there.” She said something in return, but I did not hear it because I was already closing the door.

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Review: The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky

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Paperback, 544 pages
Published January 29th 2019 by Redhook
ISBN
0316417157 (ISBN13: 9780316417150)
Edition Language
English

 

I received this as an ARC through the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

I. Synopsis

 

A sweeping tale of clashing cultures, warring gods, and forbidden love: In 1000 AD, a young Inuit shaman and a Viking warrior become unwilling allies as war breaks out between their peoples and their gods-one that will determine the fate of them all.

“There is a very old story, rarely told, of a wolf that runs into the ocean and becomes a whale.”

Born with the soul of a hunter and the spirit of the Wolf, Omat is destined to follow in her grandfather’s footsteps-invoking the spirits of the land, sea, and sky to protect her people.

But the gods have stopped listening and Omat’s family is starving. Alone at the edge of the world, hope is all they have left.

Desperate to save them, Omat journeys across the icy wastes, fighting for survival with every step. When she meets a Viking warrior and his strange new gods, they set in motion a conflict that could shatter her world…or save it.

 

II. Review.

This novel is epic, a large, beautiful snowy masterpiece that I did not want to end. It took me a long time to finish it because I wanted to keep the end from coming. As it is, this novel is huge, beautiful, and worth the time. From the very beginning, when we meet Omat as a child talking to the spirits that guide her people and learning to hunt and be a leader, til the very last page, the story is so moving and powerful that I cannot think of any way that it could be more perfect. This novel really has it all, an epic journey, love, death, battle, suffering, and so much ice and snow that you start to feel cold in some parts when you are reading it. There are parts that can be hard to stomach, some of the violence is very brutal, but the overall arc of the novel really makes these parts feel like an afterthought in the whole of the entire book.

This novel could have fell flat very easily. For as many pages as there are, there are very few characters, not much landscape, but there are also great battles and action. Sometimes when a person is reading about, as an example, a fight between twelve people, with punches and knives and death, it is very easy for these scenes to get muddled, for the action to turn into too much, and it can become very confused. It is a great author that can pull off these scenes, and I have yet to read someone that writes with the clarity in these scenes as Jordanna Max Brodsky writes. It also feels like the pacing does not waver in these fights, where Jordanna Max Brodsky is cool-headed in being the storyteller, telling us that the readers can be excited and read faster but the writing is going to continue to be steady and strong. I am impressed by so many things in this novel and the writing, and this is just an example. It feels as if she has taken her time to make sure that she has gotten this right, and she has.

There is so much going on in this novel that is amazing, that you should just read. One of my favorite aspects is the way that beliefs are portrayed throughout, and not just the beliefs of the Inuit people or of the Norse, but how there is equal validity to all of it. The mythology that is used for all groups is equal and very important. There are parts where I started to think, “Oh yeah. This has been set up to where absolutely anything can happen and be believable because there is a clear explanation for it all.” This is true. This is true because Jordanna Max Brodsky has built such a strong story that it all makes sense. What a masterful work. The more that I think about it, the more powerful it becomes. If I had one wish, it would be for everyone to at least attempt to read this novel this year. I imagine most people will be just as blown away by it as I am. The Wolf in the Whale is so incredible that it feels like I have just scratched the surface of the things I can say about it. Just go read it. This could be my book of the year.

If this does not convince you to read The Wolf in the Whale, at least read this article by Jordanna Max Brodsky about her doing research for this book:

Lithub.com

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Rafter Fiction: Kulture Krimes

a0347922589_10Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the fourth song, “Kulture Krimes.” Buy the album here

This song has a video.

I tell my sons about when the aliens invaded. The first thing they showed my great-grandparents was that they enjoyed driving fast and driving large luxury cars from the 80s and early 90s, Oldsmobiles, Buicks, and Cadillacs with long hoods. People were able to tell it was an alien driving when they saw a Delta 88 or a Fleetwood flying down the road, too fast and reckless, sometimes going over the yellow line. Most people started pulling over when they saw them coming. The aliens drove fast, crashed hard, and left wreckage strewn across every highway in the world. They never saw dead alien on the side of the road with their crashed vehicles. They wrecked, and they just walked away.
The invasion lasted for a long time, a two decades before it was even called an invasion. At first the aliens landed and negotiated with world leaders, shaking hands with promise of sharing of technology, worlds, and cultures. The aliens seemed to want to integrate into the earth’s society. Except for their love for large cars and driving too fast, the transition was seamless. For the longest time, nobody saw anything wrong, and those who did were considered paranoid. The car mechanic trade started to boom and new car models were designed with the large cars of the past in mind.

This went well for a twenty-five years, until all of the school age males between six and twelve years of age went missing. Frantic parents searched neighborhoods for their boys, and after a few days of looking to no avail, not even finding a child that escaped or a random body part, the focus turned from the victims to the perpetrators. All aliens were blamed and the military started to round them all up and place them in camps. In these camps at night, the guards heard the aliens talking to each other with clicks, screeches and garbled, an alien language that they never used before. Even when communicating to one another in public, before the children went missing, they used a slightly accented English. Now there was no doubt that the aliens were planning something, the clicks, garbles, screeches, and grunts frightened all of the guards. They stood to the ready for anything, grips tight on their automatic weapons, but they still could not stop the attack when it came. The aliens overran them in minutes, broke free from the detention centers, and decided that it was now time to take over.
I told my sons the same thing the history books told, that the bloody war was more of a massacre. Even though the aliens shared a great deal of technology with the world governments, they kept most of their knowledge to themselves, and they unveiled devices nobody had ever seen and were defenseless against. The fighting only lasted a few days before the aliens were on television saying, “Your government, military, and police have been wiped out. To the citizens, we will be living here, and we will be in charge. As long as you do not try to stop us, you will live. We enjoy Earth, the culture, and we enjoy you, the citizens, so as long as you don’t attack us, we can live in harmony. This is what we propose, and you will accept because you have no other choice.” Since then, the aliens had been in charge, driving around in their cars, and pulling up to anyone on the side of the road that they see walking to offer the people rides.

The biggest mystery to all of this was what happened to all of the boys that night. Some legends says that they were killed and thrown in the desert. Some said they were sent back to their home planet to satisfy their women. My parents, your grandparents, told us the stories of the people who disappear from earth were getting eaten by the aliens, and now I will tell you. One of my father’s friends growing up told him his cousin was trying to hitch a ride with a human in Arizona one day. In our distrust in aliens, we started trusting each other again, so everyone hitchhiked as long as a human was the person who stopped. He was walking down the road, trying to get into the city and was looking for a ride. He saw a car flying at top speed toward him, and he knew it was an alien. He stepped away from the road and planned to pretend he did not see the car as it sped by. To his distress, the car pulled up beside him. My father’s friend said that the alien leaned over and opened the door and said, “Get in.” His cousin shook his head, but he also knew that resisting the command was not something to do. When he saw the driver’s eyes widen and the alien said, “I don’t remember asking. I said get in,” the friend could not help but comply. They were driving top speed, the guy said the alien started to open up about his life and how he did not want to be seen as the bad guy. The friend did not tell him that by bullying him into the car, he already was a bad guy. He just kept nodding. The random alien in the speeding car told him everything about the invasion. He said this was the plan all along, to take over and live among subservient humans. When the friend asked what happened to all of the boys that night, the alien said, “Oh. We ate them. That’s the best age to eat humans.”

“Now,” I told my boys when I warned them about the aliens. “The rumor about the aliens eating all of the children has not come from just this one source. Everyone knows someone who has been told that all of those boys were eaten. It might be one of those urban legends, but we can’t take any chances. You must never be alone with any aliens. Even if you trust them completely, they might just eat you, and that’s a chance none of us can take. Stay away from them as much as possible.”

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Rafter Fiction: Stranded on a Dirt Clod

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”. This is the third song, “Stranded on a Dirt Clod.” Enjoy! Buy the album here

And the boss says during Jeff’s interview: “”So this guy comes every week, Thursday Friday, Saturday, and he’s one of those guys that sees the men coming in here and needs to tell them they’re going to Hell. We used to try to get rid of him, call the police, but after a few stories on the news and on social media, people come to see him and our business has skyrocketed. Everyone knows where Quadz is now, and being harassed by him has become something of a badge of honor.”

And the first time Jeff sees “Preacher”: He is tall, lanky, and weather-worn. He wears a wrinkled gray suit, needs a shave, and wears mirrored sunglasses. He swings a tattered Bible in his right hand through the air, shaking it while he yells at the men coming into the bar. He looks as if he has not slept in a year.

And when Jeff asks if “Preacher” ever comes inside: “Nah. I don’t think that he wants to be caught in this den of iniquity. He’s harmless though.”

And things “Preacher” yells at people coming in: “You are all going to be stuck here. Jesus is coming back, and you will all beg for help, but you’ll be stuck, trapped on this burning clod of dirt for the rest of your deprived life. No one is going to rescue you.”

And Jeff’s thoughts, as a bouncer, on whether or not to view “Preacher” as a threat:
“Preacher” can’t be harmless. There has to be something off about someone who wastes every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night yelling about sin in front of a gay bar. I have to keep a close eye on this guy and make sure that he does not get too close to the door or block that path of any patrons.

And  Jeff asks after watching him for a few months and realizing he is not the typical Bible-thumper: “Ask Avery behind the bar. He knows the Preacher from before.”

And reasons why Jeff is hesitant to approach Avery:  Avery is thick and strong, works out two hours a day at the gym and is would probably make a better bouncer than himself. He is kind of intimidating. Jeff watched him break up a fight between three men before Jeff even crossed the room, all three of them incapacitated with Avery’s weight. He then scowled at Jeff for not being quicker.

And how the conversation goes when Jeff finally approaches Avery:  The staff is doing shots when Jeff brings it up. “How long has the Preacher been coming here?”
Avery gives him an irritated look that quickly disappeared, almost like a twitch that Jeff is not supposed to see. “Maybe about a year. Percy was killed a year ago this January so a little after that.”

And Jeff does not ask anything about Percy, but what Avery volunteers: “I miss Percy every day still. I still feel him dying in my arms. You know I still haven’t washed the shirt with all of his blood on it? It’s stuffed in the back of the closet. I can’t look at it. Shit.”

And what Jeff learns about Percy after a Google search: He was shot walking home with his partner. They caught the guys who did it, charged them for a hate crime based on Avery’s statement, and the trial is yet to come. It took until he saw a picture of Percy, his lanky frame and thin face, for Jeff to understand that Percy is the Preacher’s son. This added even more questions, none that he wants to ask.

And things “Preacher” says the next time Jeff works: “You need to stop all of this. You will die. And nobody will help you. You take the penis out of your mouth and start walking the straight line. Otherwise your life will kill you.”

And realizations Jeff makes when he sees “Preacher”: So many things but he wonders most if the man is a preacher at all. Maybe these warnings are not from the Bible but from a grieving father.

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Rafter Fiction: I Don’t Want to Be a Man

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Rafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  Buy the album Here

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Sixteen stoplights from the house to work, sometimes having to sit through three rotations before it is my turn to go. Traffic is tedium. I do not want to do this anymore.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Many times I watch people stuff their faces with donuts and pastries, breakfast sandwiches and burritos. I want to be a raccoon, reaching my paws in through the crack in their windows, snatching the food out of their hands and running off.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Instead of getting stuck in a car, I want to be free like a squirrel. Sit in the park all day, running up and down trees, cracking open acorns to eat the meat out of them or just collecting them for the coming winter.

Start. Stop. The woman in the Saab next to me is putting on her makeup, barely paying any attention to anything else. She should be a cardinal, the dun colored female bird that is not the one that needs the attention. If she is the female, I want to be a bright red  male cardinal, flying up to random people so they can remember their loved ones for a moment.

Start Stop. I want to be a rhinoceros living on the savanna, chewing on grass, finding water and shaking the dust off of my thick hide. I can look out for predators and poachers. I can become a legend as a killer of humans, getting to them before they kill me for my horns. Actually that sounds tougher than this traffic.

Start. So many hours and days spent in this car, going to a job that I really do not care to do, watching people graze like antelope, I am tired. This is not what I signed up for. Not what I want my life to be at all.

Stop. I can be the sunshine, with heat so that when a person goes outside, tilts his face toward the sun, he feels nothing but my warmth. This way I can be a beneficial thing instead of a drone heading toward an office building to do work for people that do not even know my name.

Start. Stop. I want to be a whale. Whales are cool. Swimming around the world, catching seals, having a small group of family swimming with me, with a heart as big as a Volkswagen Golf. Then again, there will always be people trying to hunt and kill me. I am not interested in having a life of danger, looking over my shoulder for humans. My job is stupid but less stressful.

Start. Stop. I want to be a rabbit, hopping through all of the stopped cars, getting to my office building quicker because nobody is moving fast enough to run me over. Instead of going in, I will hop on over to the retention pond, find some tall grass and reeds to hide in, and sleep all day.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Or an alien in a UFO. I can zoom off to outer space, go home to my planet, and tell them to not bother with Earth because I was there, I was there for far too long, and there is not anything worth coming back for. Sure Deep Dish Pizza will be missed and I will not know the ending of  Game of Thrones, but to be a extra terrestrial in a UFO, going to a home that might be so much better than this one, seems the most appealing to me.

Start. Stop. I just need to do something else. I drive closer to work. Everyone is done with their breakfast and  their makeup. I wonder if I am the only one who does not want to do be a human anymore, if I am the only one that sits in the parking lot with the car running, wanting to be a falcon, flying out of this city, away from all of the things that just confuse me and to another place where I could at least try something new. I’m sure I will not like eating rodents, but maybe they aren’t so bad once I get used to the taste.

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Is anything bearable forever? If I am a barnacle attached to an ocean liner, or if I am an ocean liner, or if I am the ocean, will any of it be better or will I just want to be something else? If I am turned into any of these things, I will most likely miss being a human.

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Rafter Fiction: Keep on Keepin’ On

a0347922589_10.jpgRafter Fiction is short stories based on songs by Rafter. I am starting the series with the songs from his newest album, “Terrestrial Extras”.  This is the first song, “Keep on Keepin On.” Buy the album here

Almost two years into my employment, I was promoted to a lower management position. This meant I was suppose to be in a morning manager’s meeting five days a week, from nine o’clock and nine forty-five. My first week at this new position, I stood in the back of the conference room, leaning against the wall because I was the baby manager and there were not enough seats in the room for everyone. I kept quiet and stared at the large portrait of the founder, William James Something Something as he scowled at us all. I couldn’t remember his real last name. They told me once in the management training video I had to watch, but I didn’t remember and I was not going to Google it because I did not care that much. I figured that the new president, his son, Benjamin Something Something looked just like him. Bald on the top, severe disappointment and anger on his face, wrinkles around his eyes, and wearing suits that make him look slim. I had never seen him.

Immediately I hated these meetings. Immediately I tried to figure out how to get out of them. After a few weeks, I just stopped showing up.

This meant that I needed a place to hide. First I tried sitting in the back stairwell the smokers used to sneak to and fro all day long. This did not work so I changed to sitting in the bathroom. The stairwell did not work because everyone knew this was a free 45 minutes, foot traffic was higher than at any other time during the day, and once they saw me sitting there, it freaked them all out. I told them I was hiding from a meeting, but they did not trust this. They knew I was the newest member of the management team, which meant I was going to try to make waves. So I moved from the stairs to the bathroom, second stall from the end. The bathroom was not much cozier, but there was not the fear from every person coming up the stairs.

While I skipped meetings, I composed letters of resignation to the President of the company, even though I was just guessing that it might be Benjamin Something Something.

Dear Benjamin Something Something, President of Megacore Accounting, LLC,
I quit. I’m not management material. I know that this is something that I have been saying every morning, Monday through Friday, during my shower, my breakfast, and my commute, but today I am serious. I mean look at me. I knew that picking a career as a Certified Professional Accountant did not have the same pizzazz as most other professions, but man, I’m still not cut out for this position. I hide in my office all day, avoid eye contact with everyone, and the most managerial thing that I do is not wash my hands after taking a leak.  I snooze through the rest of the day. I thought when I took this job at Megacore Accounting, LLC, I was going to do great things outside of here that fulfilled my life. I was going to go skiing in the winter and meet friends for drinks on Saturdays, watch professional sports in bars and get rowdy when my teams came from behind to secure victory. I was going to meet a girl and hit it off. I was going to help her plan a wedding, do my best not to fight with my in-laws, and wear funny shirts on the holidays at family gatherings. I was going to live my life outside of this boring job. As you have probably figured out by now, none of this has gone according to plan. I hate this job, and this promotion has made it even worse. I do nothing but work and go home, try to sleep, try to watch TV, try to get through another day of just moving.

I know the other managers are in that cramped conference room saying that today is the day that we can change lives. But do we even believe that?  I mean I could try to go out to a bar after work; I’m sure there is a game on somewhere tonight. I could try to pick up someone or go on the internet to find someone to date. I could also try to find fulfillment here, strive to be the next director of the company, work my way up the ladder, become the man at your side, and make all of the decisions with you. First I would get rid of the morning meeting. Second I would get rid of many of your employees. Sometimes I laugh when I think about people you have put in charge of the company’s money, the very people that have nothing but resentment toward you, toward us, toward this job, toward this company, and toward their lives. I am still one of those people regardless of my promotion. I should write this all down and email it to you . Today is not the day. Tomorrow maybe. Tomorrow I’m going to quit for good.

Satisfied, I looked at my watch. 9:43. I needed to get out of the bathroom and get back to work. There were accounts to bill and people to email. Anything to avoid everyone else. Maybe I could invite some coworkers to go out for drinks after work. Nah. It could all wait until tomorrow.

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